Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Baby moments gone by

November 25, 2009 by e

I know you wanna see Bea…I just updated our sister blog over at With Bea We’re Three.

So, she is going to be 7 months old this week. Seven. And, I’ve got mixed feelings about it.

Not like I have an option to stop her from aging, but I guess I am having a normal reaction to seeing her get so big so fast.

Here are some things I’m so missing…

The Stillness

Bea is nosy, and she is always on the move. Gone are the days when she would snuggle and sleep on your chest. Oh no, this girl wants to get comfie on her terms, in her own bed – not in your arms. I miss the days when she would sleep for hours on me…

The Quiet

I was pretty committed to breast feeding, and I got to my goal – to nurse her for at least 6 months. But going back to work and pumping paired with a very hungry Bea didn’t let things pan out on the breast feeding front.

Do I feel like a failure? Not entirely, but I do feel like I let her down. Plus, I miss those moments – just her and me, alone and quiet. I miss the quiet.

The Sweetness

Bea’s breath… I remember being in the hospital with her, and smelling her breath. It smelled like raspberries, or strawberries. It smelled sweet and wonderful and amazing like her. These days, it may smell like formula and/or spit up, but it’s still sweet… like her smile.

In fact, her smile gets bigger and bigger every day. Her eyes light up when we walk in the door after work. She giggles and belly laughs when dad tickles her toes, and she grabs hold of your face, pulls it in close and never lets go.

So while I am mourning the moments past in the 7 months, the Bea-journey is just beginning. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.

Posted in From Miss to Mama | 2 Comments »

Okay, this time I am super-serious…

November 23, 2009 by e

After we got married in 2007, I decided to do something I had only casually flirted with before: run. I’d done a few 5ks here and there, but I wanted a challenge. I wanted to have a goal and just go for it. I wanted to be a runner.

Me, after my first half marathon!

I don’t have the body for the runner, but I was convinced if I had something to train for, I could get the mind of a runner – focused, energetic, passionate.

I started a blog and I began with the Couch to 5k program before graduating to a real-life half marathon training plan. I was doing it. I was registered to run 13.1 miles.

And I did it.

I felt awesome. I felt like a new person- the kind of person that can set her eyes on a goal and grab it.

I went on to run the Broad Street Run only a week later, and then took some time off… then I got pregnant and stopped running all together.

So, here I am, wanting the same goals and I have my eyes set on the Lehigh Valley Half Marathon on April 25. It will be 3 days after Bea’s fist birthday, and it will be amazing.

So, I’m committed. I’m in. And, if you’ve got some extra encouragement, or feel like listening to me whine about how hard it is, and how much it sucks, and how great it all feels at the same time… come on over.

Posted in post-babe bod | 4 Comments »

Dear Diary, I was a pretty scary 13-year-old

November 19, 2009 by e

I was thrilled when Mama Kat picked my prompt suggestion as one of this week’s Writing Workshop prompts! And, what was the prompt?

4.)Share a diary entry from when you were 13…feel free to make one up!
(inspired via twitter by @EricaVoll from I’m Still Fabulous)

That’s me!

In fact, I am so excited about this idea… I want to make it a recurring post. I have so many diaries… it could be fun.

You have to understand, I kept a diary (not a journal, mind you… a “Dear Diary”) From about the time I was 11. I really haven’t looked at these diaries in-depth until tonight.

In 1990, I was 13. I was getting ready to start high school, and it was a weird transitional period in my life. I went through a period when every girl in school hated me. Then they loved me. Girls are cruel, and reading this really makes me scared for our daughter.

When I first thought of this prompt, I thought it would be fun- and funny. I thought I was a typical 13-year-old… whatever that meant.

There are some entries that are super-sticky sweet….

“Jason talked to me again today! He is sooo cute! I really love him!”

And there are many others that are kind of girl-mean-scary…

“I can’t believe guys like Amy. She’s totally flat-chested and not popular!”

But there is a theme that runs throughout. It cuts through the clutter of boys and football games and dances. And, it shines through even the happiest journal entries.

I thought I was fat.

August 13, 1990

I am so mad at Mom! I want a stairmaster and she won’t let me get one with my money! I know I am going to get fatter and fatter. I am crying right now thinking of the lumpy thighs I will get. I want to SCREAM!  I know what I will do- I am going to starve myself and exercise ’til I am blue. All I am going to drink is water and I won’t eat. That will teach her a thing or two. I just want one thing- to look good.

I wasn’t fat by any definition. In fact, I was really healthy. I had curves, but I was maybe 110 pounds? I wore a size 5…I was cute.

September 17, 1990

I’ve devised a new diet plan. This week, on Thursday and Tuesday I won’t eat. On Fridays, Wednesdays and Mondays every other week, I don’t eat. I call them my don’t-eat-days (obviously) and I’m determined to stick with it. I’ll stick to my exercise routine, but I need to figure out a way to finish my homework and exercise a lot.

October 11, 1990

Mark my words: I am going on a diet. I don’t care how hungry I am, I will not gain weight- I am obsessed. I want boys to like me and I need to be perfect.

And here’s the scary thing, Diary, Bloggerbuds, at 19 I found myself forced to leave college and inpatient at a treatment center for anorexia. Did I really feel like I was “getting back” at my parents for who-knows-what by dieting and exercising and “showing them a thing or two?”

It really makes me sad. I know what I put my parents through when I was going through my eating disorder.

And now? With a daughter of my own? As a parent, can I put myself in the same place my mother and father were in while they were watching me fade away… praying that I would snap out of an eating disorder and depression that could ultimately kill me?

I was obsessed. I was sick. I was only 19.

But at 13, I had no idea. No clue. But you’re not supposed to have a clue at 13.

To be 13…there are entries when I felt like my life was insane… and entries make no sense.

March 4, 1990

Mom won’t let me leave early to see Nana and Grandpop leave for Las Vegas. She thinks school is the most important thing in life! It Sucks! Sometimes, life can be scary and sometimes it is fun, but mostly it sucks. What is the purpose of life? I hope I find my true self…

And there are entries that make me laugh

April 4 1990

Sarah is totally ignoring me. Oh, now that she is in the seniors softball league she is so cool? She is too cool to be my friend? I never really liked her anyway.

April 6, 1990

I am writing in black to show that BOYS ARE SCUM. I mean, except for a couple like Chance, Jason and Tom. And Kevin. He is really nice to me and not scum.

April 21, 1990

Jenny Quilo, Jenny Sobieski, Jenny Josteva, Jenny Sawyer, Jenny McVoy, Jenny Palumbo, Jenny Petulo, Jenny Grey, Jenny Bachman…Sorry, I was just counting how many Jennys I know. Amy is still a total snob.

I’ll be 33 this January, and these diary entries will be 20 years old. Twenty years is a long time, but these entries are still fresh enough to remind me of the person I was. I’m stull not sure there’s enough distance between now and then to read these without feeling a bit emotional. Reading these words still stings a bit.

And my daughter? I hope she writes. I hope she gets her emotions down somewhere- regardless of how scary they may seem at the time. And 13… can…be…scary.

e

Posted in Writing Workshop | 13 Comments »

Wordless Wednesday: Let the fun begin

November 18, 2009 by e

Posted in From Miss to Mama | 1 Comment »

Hair anxiety

November 18, 2009 by e

I was over visiting the SITS girls, and came upon this website dedicated to hairstyles for toddlers and babies called Babes in Hairland. She is super-talented- look how creative this is!

Oh. My. Gosh. Immediately, I thought… how cute! But then my excitement and curiosity turned to anxiety.

I was never good with girl hair. Growing up I had – and still do- have super baby fine hair.  I couldn’t french braid. I longed for thick, wavy long hair. I got poker straight, thin and boring with a dash of dishwater brown color.

Stringy hair

Ugh.

So, seeing this site brought up all sort of emotions about my daughter. What if she has hapless hair? What if she wants me to french braid her hair?

What if I master that, but then she wants one of those fancy braids that sits on the outside of the “french” rather than the inside?

What if she inherited my hair and nothing but a cute bob will do?

What if she wants the cute bob, but only has a head of unmanagable curls??

Can you put product in a toddler’s hair??

Whatever the case, I know she will be cute. But I know the pain that accompanies hair that won’t do what you want it to do. I know what is it like to curse a cowlick and to wish your hair was  lighter/darker/straighter/curlier/cuter. I know what it is like to be late for class because you’re fixing your hair in the bathroom and it still won’t go the way you want it to go.

And, I know what it is like to live through bad perms, too-high bangs and too-choppy hair cuts.

I guess I just want better for my daughter… Don’t we all?

So, if you have a minute, go over and check out Babes in Hairland. Let’s all appreciate that which we cannot do ourselves :)

e

Posted in Hair | 2 Comments »

Required viewing

November 17, 2009 by e

I’m not sure how we got on the topic, but I was speaking with a co-worker about movies and she mentioned she had never seen something. It was one of those movies that EVERYONE (but her) has seen, and I could not comprehend how this woman could be 30 and not seen it. I began grilling her about others….

The Godfather? Nope.

Apocalypse Now? Nope.

Annie Hall? Nope.

Barton Fink? Nope.

This went on and on. And it got me thinking, if schools have required reading, why don’t they have required viewing? How can one understand the satire that lies within the Simpsons’ Halloween specials, when she has never seen The Shining? Isn’t Some Like it Hot just part of our culture? Does she know what I mean when I talk about a Stanley Kubrick-esque influence in design?

Didn’t everyone see A Clockwork Orange at a high school party???

So she got a list of required viewing. Taxi Driver, The Deer Hunter, MASH, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – all the movies we thought she should see.

But then I started thinking about my required movie list. What must-see flicks am I missing on my list? I’ve never seen 2001 Space Odyssey, A Streetcar Named Desire, or Casablanca. I am sure there a ton of Alfred Hitchcock movies I am missing…

So, what movies are on your list? What are your must-see movies? And, am I ridiculous in thinking a required-viewing movie list should be in my child’s curriculum? And, if not, what else should our kids ( okay, my kid) learn that isn’t being taught in schools?

E

Posted in Fabulous | 6 Comments »

Writer’s Workshop: The crafty b*tch edition

November 12, 2009 by e

Today is Writer’s Workshop day over at Mama’s Losin’ it.

Every week she hosts this workshop and offers prompts to inspire some creative writing.

This week, I’ve chosen this prompt: Tell us about something you’ve made.

You may not know this, but I am one crafty b*tch. In fact, way back when, my friend Nikki and I decided every Sunday would be CBS- Crafty B*tch Sunday. It was a day when our significant others could watch football, and we could have fun with our craftiness.

I have to tell you, Nikki is super-crafty. She is THE craftiest person I know. Next to my Mom, that is. But I can play too. I knit, crochet, decoupage and have been known, on occasion, to paint my preggo-belly:

Here are some of my proudest crafty wedding moments!


I know I just wrote about our wedding, but I have such great memories of it. As I said before, I had a lot of fun in preparing for it.

We are both really into music and we wanted to reflect that in our party. With some great art direction from our photographer, Douglas Benedict and some mad design skillz from my friend Carla, we came up with our save the date card:

With our creative juices flowing, we continued that theme with the reception. It was subtle, but we created things to keep in the theme of “Making Music Together.” Err… something like that!

Our guests were greeted with a custom sign-in book, and these place cards designed to look like juke box labels:

They sat at tables like “Elvis Presley” and “Bon Jovi”:

Our menus and matchbooks all had a musical theme:

Don’t you just love those matches?

Candy bars were our favors, and they included this sweet lyric…

 

Even our cocktail napkins had lyrics to them! We had five versions, each with a different saying:

And my favorite touch was our card basket…. you know, where people leave their well-wishes and gifts for you? Our was an empty guitar case, which I trash-picked, thankyouverymuch. Mr. Fabulous had the idea and it came out so well!
I loved how the theme came together without being garish. We had so much fun doing it.
Now, go on over to Mama Kat’s and check out what other awesome writing assignments were done!
Thanks for reading!
e

Posted in Crafty | 7 Comments »

Dinner almost killed us!

November 11, 2009 by e

Dear Rival Crock-Pot,

Alright, so the title of this letter might be a bit dramatic, but last night’s Rival crock-pot fiasco could have at least broken a tooth. And, for me and my obsession with teeth, that could have killed me.

Let me back up.

As new home-owners playing house 5 years ago, I bought one of your crock-pots with the intentions of being a fabulous crock-pot Queen.

That crock-pot was a dinner saver for about 4 years, until it crocked out on us and just stopped working.
Okay, fine. I accept that. Appliances go bad. Well, apparently your (Rival) Crock-pot appliances go bad.

To replace it, I got this fancy one with a hinged lid:

While enjoying a delicious crocked meal about a month ago, my husband bit into a pice of black hard plastic. See, part of the handle lid had broken off ( unbeknownst to me) and fallen INTO the chicken I had been cooking all day.
The scary thing is that we only found ONE piece of the lid… and I was convinced that inside of my belly, I had a sharp piece of plastic that would surely rip my insides and send me to the hospital. Thankfully, I survived…
But then there was last night. I used the handy lid handle to open the lid and the lid smashed down on me sending burning broth all over my hands. What happened? Well, the handle’s screw had fallen out because the handle plastic had broken ( unbeknownst to me, again) and the SCREW FELL INTO OUR DINNER. Here are the parts I actually found:

Fantastic. So now, I have a wonderful pot roast ruined by potentially teeth-breaking, colon tearing plastic and screws from this Rival Crock-Pot.

Oh, but wait, upon inspection, we found the screw… in the stew…

Imagine if I had fed my children this meal? What if the hinged handle didn’t break, but the screw had just fallen into the stwe? What if, indeed, I had eaten a bit of the plastic and suffered severe gastro intestinal damage?

Well, you’d have one hell of a lawsuit on your hands, wouldn’t you?

So, Rival, I will be forced to go to your ….rivals… to get a new crock pot. How can I feel safe knowing delicious meals might be ruined by your faulty parts? Can I ever feel secure knowing the dinner I *might* be cooking all day at home might actually be a room-temperature mess because your appliance just stops working?

Wouldn’t the world be so much happier if things just worked the way they were supposed to? Yeah, I guess that is too much to ask….

Teeth-in-tact…for now,
Erica

Posted in wedded bliss | 4 Comments »

The six lessons I learned this weekend

November 9, 2009 by e

We had a particularly busy and fun weekend… lots of stuff to do and get done on Saturday, which left us exhausted and a little smarter…

Flu shot for the babe at 8 am. Need to leave by 7:30 to get there on time. Expecting it to be mobbed. After that, baby party at noon, two hours away, and…well, isn’t that enough when you’re traveling with a 6-month old?

We knew it would be a long day.

Task #1. Protect babe from H1N1.

Getting out of the door at 7:30 am with a baby requires a lot of planning with little room for grace. When hubby asked at 7 am, “Should I get her bag together for the road?” Hahaha! Get her bag ready at 7 am? I had that ish together by 10 pm the night before, love.

So, at 7:30, we are ready to go… but decide we should really bring the dog to the in-laws since we should be gone the whole day.

Lesson #1: Don’t forget about Freddie – remember him? You used to love him more than life before the baby came.

We get there 15 minutes late and are wearing full-on party-after-this-here-flu-shot- outfits. We look ridiculously over-dressed for a flu clinic, and the line is twirling around the building. Outdoors. It’s 33 degrees. And, the babe has no coat, mittens, or hat.

What kind of mother am I anyway? Did I really think we would walk right into a flu clinic during this panademic madness… when we were already late? Did I not see the frost on the cars?

Lesson #2: Check the weather report and for goodness sake, be a MOM and bundle her the hell up.

The clinic is very organized, and we get in, and are out in no time… not without a complete eruption of spit-up all over her pretty party dress… and hubby’s dress pants. Ok, fine, we’ll get her a new outfit along the way. Great. Like she doesn’t have about 100 other dresses hanging in her closet at home…

Lesson #3: Don’t dress babe until arrival at destination and/or bring a second set of clothing that is not a season-inappropriate, too-small onesie leftover in her diaper bag from June, you horrible mother.

Task #2. Drive to North Jersey; arrive on time?

Some babies like to sleep in the car. Some parents actually drive their babies to get them to sleep, that’s how much they like to sleep in the car…Ours is not one of them. After a brief nap in the car, she pretty much cried the entire ride. Hubby pretty much cried because he hates driving through the crowded, traffic-laden north Jersey.

We eventually got there in time for the festivities, but not without a lot of cursing and shouting, “I hate driving up here!”

Lesson #4: Hubby is not an aggressive driver, I am not a good back seat entertainer to a teething 6-month-old. Must get EZ Pass. Or die.

Party is fun. Baby needs a diaper change. No prob. I am in like Flynn. It’s one of those baby-changing stations in a stall, so bonus. I can pee too. I change her and there is no way I am leaving her on the changing table, so I figure I can maneuver holding her, pulling down my tights, and peeing while getting toilet paper all at the same time.

Not too bad, I am thinking to myself as I am about to rename myself “Wonderwoman E.” But then, as I am holding my 6 month old, trying not to touch anything and thinking about how this whole “wiping” thing will go down, I realize I’ve just gotten my period. Fan. Tas. Tic.

Lesson #5: Peeing should be in private to avoid situations like these. Hand babe off to papa before peeing. Always.

Whatever. I deal, and we are on our way home because, well, we are getting the message loud and clear. Babe sleeps almost the entire way, and by 3 pm, we feel as though we’ve run a marathon. With that, we learned possibly the most important- and obvious- lesson of them all…

Lesson #6: Staying up past 8 pm on a Saturday night is highly overrated.

But, we knew that already, didn’t we?

Posted in From Miss to Mama | Leave a Comment »

The six lessons I learned this weekend

November 9, 2009 by e

We had a particularly busy and fun weekend… lots of stuff to do and get done on Saturday, which left us exhausted and a little smarter…

Flu shot for the babe at 8 am.  Need to leave by 7:30 to get there on time. Expecting it to be mobbed. After that, baby party at noon, two hours away, and…well, isn’t that enough when you’re traveling with a 6-month old?

We knew it would be a long day.

Task #1. Protect babe from H1N1. 
Getting out of the door at 7:30 am with a baby requires a lot of planning with little room for grace. When hubby asked at 7 am, “Should I get her bag together for the road?” Hahaha! Get her bag ready at 7 am? I had that ish together by 10 pm the night before, love.

So, at 7:30, we are ready to go… but decide we should really bring the dog to the in-laws since we should be gone the whole day.
Lesson #1: Don’t forget about Freddie – remember him? You used to love him more than life before the baby came.

We get there 15 minutes late and are wearing full-on party-after-this-here-flu-shot- outfits. We look ridiculously over-dressed for a flu clinic, and the line is twirling around the building. Outdoors. It’s 33 degrees. And, the babe has no coat, mittens, or hat.

What kind of mother am I anyway? Did I really think we would walk right into a flu clinic during this panademic madness… when we were already late? Did I not see the frost on the cars?
Lesson #2: Check the weather report and for goodness sake, be a MOM and bundle her the hell up.

The clinic is very organized, and we get in, and are out in no time… not without a complete eruption of spit-up all over her pretty party dress… and hubby’s dress pants. Ok, fine, we’ll get her a new outfit along the way. Great. Like she doesn’t have about 100 other dresses hanging in her closet at home…
Lesson #3: Don’t dress babe until arrival at destination and/or bring a second set of clothing that is not a season-inappropriate, too-small onesie leftover in her diaper bag from June, you horrible mother.  


Task #2. Drive to North Jersey; arrive on time? 
Most Some babies like to sleep in the car. Some parents actually drive their babies to get them to sleep, that’s how much they like to sleep in the car…Ours is not one of them.

After a brief nap in the car, she pretty much cried the entire ride. Hubby pretty much cried because he hates driving through the crowded, traffic-laden north Jersey. We eventually got there in time for the festivities, but not without a lot of cursing and shouting, “I hate driving up here!”
Lesson #4: Hubby is not an aggressive driver, I am not a good back seat entertainer to a teething 6-month-old. Must get EZ Pass. Or die.


Party is fun. Baby needs a diaper change. No prob. I am in like Flynn. It’s one of those baby-changing stations in a stall, so bonus. I can pee too. I change her and there is no way I am leaving her on the changing table, so I figure I can maneuver holding her, pulling down my tights, and peeing while getting toilet paper all at the same time.

Not too bad, I am thinking to myself as I am about to rename myself “Wonderwoman E.” But then, as I am holding my 6 month old, trying not to touch anything and thinking about how this whole “wiping” thing will go down, I realize I’ve just gotten my period. Fan. Tas. Tic.
Lesson #5: Peeing should be in private to avoid situations like these. Hand babe off to papa before peeing. Always. 

Whatever. I deal, and we are on our way home because, well, we are getting the message loud and clear. Babe sleeps almost the entire way, and by 3 pm, we feel as though we’ve run a marathon. With that, we learned possibly the most important- and obvious- lesson of them all…
Lesson #6: Staying up past 8 pm on a Saturday night is highly overrated. 


But, we knew that already, didn’t we?

Posted in From Miss to Mama | 1 Comment »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »